Be a Man

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by getting harder or tougher, more ruthlessly driven, more competitive, more uncaring about their unresolved wounds, making “getting over it” more important than “feeling it” or “going through it. His book is a true hero’s journey of healing and awakening, one that encourages men to cultivate a deep and enduring intimacy with everything that they are for the benefit of one and all.he recounts his struggles to learn true manhood, as well as the inspiring stories of others he has served in his decades as a priest. As my visible queerness has dissipated, and the fog of being disassociated from my body has lifted, I see with crystalline clearness the power that operates in men’s bodies—power that threatens the very integrity of our nation-state.

In Great House, published in 2010 and a finalist for the National Book award, lives are connected across continents and through catastrophic events by a wooden desk, and in Krauss’s preceding novel, The History of Love, people living through different eras in Poland, Chile and the US are linked through a book and through the tenuous bonds of human affection. These are the words of the best friend of the first transgender person killed in the United States in 2018. In the opening story, “Switzerland,” a 13-year-old boarding school student learns her friend has had a dangerous encounter with an older man. Compassionately written and wise, it invites men to make a conscious distinction between their benevolent and malevolent identifications, and paves the way for a way of being that is both sturdy and heartfelt. Each story in “To Be a Man” is governed by its own unique and intricate logic, yet the stylistic differences are never gimmicky.

They thought it would be funny to give me this as in their corporate world of sniper tactics, I seemed a bit to calm, a bit too in touch with my feminine side as well as my masculine. I knew I had to check the F box on my passport application to go to college in London, but when I saw the photos of me standing next to Windsor Castle, I didn’t recognize her and turned away. There are so many political ramifications of this new body—ramifications I both know and can’t know until I begin to live them. The inescapable doubling of the transgender body, expressed as if doubling means a life can never be complete, as if a certain combination of body parts is necessary to achieve “happiness,” even for a best friend who knows which pronouns to use.

He has made it his mission to clear up this gender confusion and issued a specific challenge to men in his new book, Be A Man: Become the Man God Created You to Be.I’m probably about his age, as well as from the northeast (him Boston, me Philadelphia area) and as such related to a lot of his experiences. For most of my life, this process of becoming feels lethal, the disparate parts always at war with one another. Ever questioned just exactly what differentiates different types of beer or where all the single malt whiskies come from? Carl lived as a girl and then as a queer woman, building a career, a life, and a loving marriage, yet still waiting to realize himself in full. The Be a Man Guy also takes readers into his early years, from learning math from his uncle the bookie to discovering deep truths about life from the patrons who drank and gambled at his family’s bar in East Boston Whether in stories or one liners, The Be a Man Guy will make you laugh and shake your head in recognition.

I think I was afraid of seeing her, afraid of trying to understand her now that I was older and maybe could, which I suppose is the same as saying that I was afraid of myself: of what I might discover beneath my understanding. At the same time, white masculinity is more defined and powerful than ever—in the workplace, in the government, in the gym where I work out every day, in my little apartment in Berlin where I watch Kavanaugh testify, shout in anger, cry out over the indignation of being held accountable, lie repeatedly, and then get sworn into a lifetime appointment to the Supreme Court.

Rather, the structures are possessed of an effortless elasticity, expanding and contracting to fit the stories these characters are compelled to tell. A couple narrate diverging versions of the end of a marriage while a German man tells his Jewish lover that he would have been a Nazi had he lived during the Third Reich – that he sees in himself all the attributes to make such a destiny, for someone like him, inevitable. In the section of my library where I have a small collection of books about being a man, To Be a Man has moved to the top of my list. And, as the mother of two boys, I am delighted that he is sharing these fruits of wisdom with the men of today, and the generations to follow. It was a longing and a desire so deeply embedded in my body that I could barely access it because every part of my life, all that culture had to offer, told me I couldn’t have it.