Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are

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I was unfamiliar with Lysa TerKeurst when I happened upon Proverbs 31 Ministries on Facebook and discovered she was about to release a book about setting boundaries and, when necessary, saying goodbye to unsustainable relationships. I thought a book like that might apply to a current difficult relationship for which I was seeking ... something. So, I signed up and received an advance copy. Join #1 New York Times bestselling author Lysa TerKeurst as she helps you stop the dysfunction of unhealthy relationships by showing you biblical ways to set boundaries—and, when necessary, say goodbye—without losing the best of who you are.

Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Los…

Stop being misled and emotionally paralyzed by wrongly interpreted or weaponized scriptures that perpetuate unhealthy dynamics in difficult relationships. But after thousands of life-changing hours of counseling intensives and extensive theological research that transformed the way she defined healthy relationships, Lysa is now more committed than ever to loving people well without compromising her own well-being. In Good Boundaries and Goodbyes , Lysa gives you the tools you need to do the same. My wife and I are both avid readers, constantly adding new books to our shelves. Whenever my wife adds a new book, I typically add it to my reading list. Recently, my wife added Good Boundaries and Goodbyes by Lysa Terkeurst to our shelves, so I naturally added it to my list of books to read. I was surprised to find it so highly rated and decided to read it sooner rather than later. It was my first time reading a book by Terkeurst. It was my first time learning about Terkeurst herself and why she is a well-known author. So, I didn't know what to expect. It feels like it's written to a very niche audience (wives struggling to draw boundaries in regard to their repeatedly unfaithful husbands), but marketed to a much broader audience.

Lysa TerKeurst is president of Proverbs 31 Ministries and the New York Times best-selling author of Univited, The Best Yes, Unglued, Made to Crave, and 18 other books. Her newest book, It’s Not Supposed to be This Way, is scheduled for release in November of 2018. Lysa was recently awarded the Champions of Faith Author Award and has been published in multiple publications such as CNN and Fox News online. Additionally, she has appeared on the Today Show as one of the leading voices in the Christian community. Lysa’s book reminded me of my college years when I would write papers for classes, be way below the word count, and fill them with fluff to meet the word count minimum. Lysa’s book would have been better as a blog post, not an entire book. I really liked the structure of this book. She ended each chapter with advice from a Christian counselor, important quotes from the chapter, scripture, a prayer, and questions to reflect on.

Good Boundaries and Goodbyes | Lysa TerKeurst

something i've struggled with for most of my life is boundaries. are they ungodly? am i a bad person because i put up boundaries? how do i put p boundaries? this book answers these questions, and so much more. even though i didn't relate to all of the situations she was talking about, there was still so much to take from this. there were actual times i did close the book and actually questioned if this was written directly for me. like word for word. But other people will never be able to fill that empty feeling inside of you. Only God can do that. So the foundation of any good relationship has to start with you having a good relationship with yourself and with God. Good Boundaries and Goodbyes explores how people can have healthier relationships by establishing relational boundaries with their partners, family, and friends. Partway through reading the book, I learned that the author was writing from the experience of her painful divorce. Reading through this lens, I saw how Terkeurst uses the pain from her experience to help people develop more meaningful relationships. Her main message is that proper boundaries help a person discern whether a relationship is helpful or harmful - if harmful, she then discusses the importance of letting go. Through boundaries, a person invites others to choose between loving them by respecting the boundaries or harming them further; those who continue hurting the relationship effectively choose ending it. In Terkeurst’s words, “Boundaries protect the right kind of love and help prevent dysfunction from destroying that love. Boundaries help us say what needs to be said, do what needs to be done, and establish what is and isn’t acceptable.” The point of Good Boundaries and Goodbyes is to teach the reader that it is necessary to develop boundaries with one’s closest relationships.Good Reads & Beautiful Things | December 2021 - Katherine Scott Jones on The Secret to Finding Beauty in the Midst of Pain

Good Boundaries and Goodbyes summary - Blinkist Good Boundaries and Goodbyes summary - Blinkist

Despite the book seemingly being born out of her trauma, Terkeurst does not focus on her situation; she does not discuss any overly personal details, and she avoids painting anyone in a bad light. Instead, Terkeurst comes across like a therapist for whatever the reader is going through in their relationships. Terkeurst focuses on what’s happening inside the reader and helps them work through their experiences in a healthy way.

I also got the sense from this book that Terkeurst is here to fight for her readers and their well-being. Early on, she states, “This isn’t a book about leaving people. It’s a book about loving people in the right and healthy ways. And it’s about communicating appropriate boundaries and parameters so that love can stay safe and sustainable.” Terkeurst does suggest that a person leave those who refuse to respect their boundaries, but this is a last resort. But overall, she encourages her readers to see worth in themselves and to fight for their relationships in healthy ways. I read “It’s Not Supposed To Be This Way”, by Lysa Terkeurst several years ago, and I have tried to read each new release she has had since. That book spoke to me and touched me more than any other book I have ever read. With this latest release being about boundaries, I knew I better read (and study) this book as well! I don't know how to rate this book, so here's my thoughts after having read the first ~70% and skimming the rest. Stop being misled and emotionally paralyzed by wrongly interpreted or weaponized scriptures that perpetuate unhealthy dynamics in difficult relationships Determine the appropriate amount of personal and emotional access someone has to you based on how responsible they'll be with that access

Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing

Save yourself 6 months and go read Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. Now THAT is an excellent, thought-provoking book on boundaries. The New York Times bestselling author and athlete challenges you to find your mission and pursue a bolder, brighter, more fulfilling life. Early in the book, Terkeurst writes, “I’ll be with you as we trust God to lead us through every word and every step. And you’ll also hear from my Christian counsellor Jim Cress, who will weigh in with therapeutic insights throughout the book.” The book applies current best practices in therapy and relationship counselling to its subject matter. Additionally, it heavily relies on biblical teachings and narratives to help reinforce each point. Most of the book comes from Terkeurst’s personal experiences, and these outside sources support her main topics. Terkeurst does not present any false information; however, her interpretation of the Christian scriptures is sometimes questionable. (I don’t think it’s fair to say her interpretations are wrong. I only mean that someone could argue for a compelling interpretation that contradicts what Terkeurst sometimes.) Nevertheless, the book seems accurate in what it teaches and encourages the reader to learn.

Start each day with a smile using the faith-filled Scripture, prayers, and readings in this uplifting devotional from Lakewood Church's Joel and Victoria Osteen. As a Christian, you’re called to forgive. And that calling can seem like it’s in conflict with ending relationships. But remember, your relationship with God isn’t unconditional. It depends on your obedience. He’ll always love you, but unless you follow him, you won’t live in eternity with him. That’s the ultimate goodbye. I’ve read 90+ books this year. But THIS is the book that will change my life. My “word” for this year was boundaries. I slowly but surely worked to set up healthy boundaries in all sorts of areas in my life: family, physical health, and friendships. I was ending this year feeling way healthier mentally than ever before. This book being the “bookend” to my year is so fitting. I was reassured all the work I did this year personally was worth it. I am moving in the right direction to be a better version of not me, but of Jesus! The way Lysa writes about how God set up boundaries gave me the insight I needed to keep pressing on into 2023. To keep setting up boundaries in life and relationships that are going to keep me on the path He has for me. On the other hand, when Adam and Eve – and by extension, all of humanity – were cast out of the garden, they were given guidelines for restoring our relationship with God. Goodbyes can be for a season or forever. And you may not get to know which is which.